“You can’t be anything you want to be —
but you can be a whole lot more of who you already are.”
– Tom Rath, bestselling author and
expert on strengths in the workplace
In a recent spring-cleaning project, I discovered a bin in the back corner of my basement. It held my high school yearbooks from decades ago. Feeling nostalgic, I picked one up and flipped through the colorful markings and handwritten notes left by my classmates.
Throughout the stories of misadventures, brief confessions of feelings, and bursts of teen-aged wisdom, I noticed one predominant theme: Never change.
“Stay who you are honeybuns,” said one. “You’re so fun – stay that way,” said another.
Never change? Really?!
It turns out, this is some of the best advice I’ve ever received.
We often hear that one of the only constants in life is change. Through the ups and downs of my life – navigating single parenthood, overcoming cancer, and transitioning into a new career – I have found this to be true.
However, we can choose to keep what’s best within us the same, and even develop those qualities. Then, “never change” truly is great advice. We know this to be true from research about signature strengths in the field of positive psychology.
Signature strengths are personality traits that reflect what’s best within you. Research shows that people who focus on their signature strengths are more likely to flourish in their work; have less stress, anxiety and depression; have more confidence; and experience more positive outcomes in virtually every facet of life.
So, what are your best traits? If you aren’t aware of your unique signature strengths, I invite you to discover them by taking the character strengths survey. Your signature strengths will be in the top 5-7 of your results.
I find it ironic that during my high school years, when everything seemed to be changing, my classmates and I urged each other to stay the same. Many yearbook comments reflected my signature strengths, which I lean on every day to face daily challenges and opportunities.
“You were a great listener when I had problems with my love life.” (Perspective)
“No, seriously you are…always fun to be around.” (Humor)
And a favorite: “…your personality is a rare, but good one.”
That last comment was a testament to how a friend appreciated my uniqueness. It made me laugh out loud!
You don’t need to make yourself over to transform your work or life. By focusing on your signature strengths, you can not only grow and change but also live more deeply into who you are. In Tom Rath’s words, “…you can be a whole lot more of who you already are.”
So, never change? Absolutely!
Try living into a top signature strength by following these two simple steps:
- Develop an awareness of your signature strengths, and
- Practice engaging them with intention.
This practice will help you accomplish both.
I invite you to choose one signature strength. If you wish to skip taking the survey at this time, choose one strength from the graphic below that resonates with you.
Practice using the strength you’ve chosen in a new way. If you’re unsure how to think about this, consult this character strengths resource from the University of Toronto and select the strength you chose.
To challenge yourself, try engaging this strength in a new way each day for the next week to help you relax and de-stress, achieve a meaningful goal, overcome an obstacle to a goal, or make a deeper connection with someone important.
If you get stuck, please do not hesitate to reach out to me. I love helping people live into their signature strengths!
When using my signature strength of _______, I noticed that _______.
Take your time with this reflection. Perhaps journal about it or talk it through with someone you trust. You might notice that you felt more confident or energized, had an “aha” moment about an obstacle you faced or approached a situation or person with a different perspective.
Just notice what happens when you engage a signature strength, and feel free to try this practice with other signature strengths.
May you live into who you are when at your best, today and every day.